his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
