I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
