just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Shame - the story of my life.
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