I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
