2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
