I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
