i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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