But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
