Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
