All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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