I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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