She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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