Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Walk of Shame today included voting.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
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