There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
