i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
