Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
