we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
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I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
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im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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