I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize