If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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