PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
