i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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