Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
