question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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