I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
