I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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