i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
