I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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