i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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