Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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