Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
