tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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