i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
