yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
