it wasn't lemon gatorade
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I need a beard to bite.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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