So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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