It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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