Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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