standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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