No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Someone came in the potted fern
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
