So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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