you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
