Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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