This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
