You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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