put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just gift wrapped bread.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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