Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
