Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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