i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
