the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
