If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
