I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
