They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Randomize
