i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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