Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
