she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
