glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
