Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
