So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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