i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
