It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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