apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize