Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My pussy is not your playground.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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