in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
