Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
