can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
