Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My dick has a subreddit
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
